EVERY TYPE OF SKI INSTRUCTOR YOU'LL MEET

24. June 2020

Written by Oriane Lois Lister, Ski Instructor Diaries

Big ski school or small, Asia or Europe, first season or you’ve had so many you’ve lost count. No matter what, the locker room is as much a zoo as it is a workplace. Every single kind of instructor you could ever imagine on display for you to meet. Here’s every type of ski instructor you’ll discover, from the kiddies' favourite to the one you never really see.

 

1. THINK’S THEY’RE ON HOLIDAY

We all know the kind, they’re the last to show up in the morning and the first to leave at the end of the day. They only bothered with the job because they thought it would get them more time on the slopes and are horrified it actually involves effort.  If you’re looking for someone to buy beer, the guy who clearly doesn’t care if he keeps his job is a sure pick because he evidently can afford it.

 

2. THE »EX RACER«

They used to race back in the day and boy do you know it. They refuse to teach anything below intermediates and show up on the first day with skis thinner than your wallet.  No longer allowed to take part in the ski school race due to “the incident”, they will coach everyone else from the sidelines whether they want it or not.  You can spot them by looking for the only grumpy person on a powder day.

 

3. THE SOCIAL CLIMBER

The Social Climber hangs out with their guests more than they hang out with you. They are not naturally blessed like mums favourite but instead hold group bonding sessions and use their status quo to follow their trust fund clients around town. They memorise every guest and keep in touch in case they ever want to follow up, read need anything, in the future.

 

4. THE POWDER HOUNT
Not to be confused with the ‘Thinks they’re on Holiday’, the powder hound is usually a great employee. They turn up on time every day and get along well with everyone. At night they’re seen in the tuning room, waxing skis closely resembling tree trunks. Whilst everyone else is still sleeping they’re touring up the side of the hill and make first tracks as the sun rises. You want to be jealous of them but their infectious happiness makes it hard to do anything but smile.

 

5. THE KNOW IT ALL

You know the guy because he let you know he was going to be that guy the minute he walked in. They spend the entire season giving out pearls of wisdom and informing you of the correct way to go about your daily life. Sometimes their lessons go well, others you’ve seen the kids just give up and lie on the floor. You’re genuinely confused about where their sense of entitlement stems from just as much as they’re confused at how quickly the locker room will clear out when they come in.

 

6. THE TECHNIQUE EXPERT

Typically older and male.  The technique expert is a training machine. They don’t care about your feelings they just live for technique. Every angle is analysed and they will rank every other ski instructor based off their carving abilities alone. Not one for a chill beer at apres but a good one to befriend. With your next exam around the corner, you will want to ski with them as much as you can, but only if you have thick skin. 

 

7. BOSSES FAVOURITE

The first to offer to help on any occasion. This person wants to work their way up to the director one day and are on the fast track to it. Yesterday they taught 3 sets of lessons back to back and then sanitised the kiddy area. They’re always down for an extra shift and you haven’t seen them take a day off in weeks. In any other job you’d mock them for it but here they’re doing you a favour so become a treasured individual in the locker room.

 

8. SINGLE MUMS/DADS FAVOURITE

As soon as you read the term someone has already sprung to mind. They’re picked first for private lessons and swoon in with charm, grace and stupidly good looks. Some of them are actually great instructors but often they get by with their dazzling smile alone. You’ll find them with an adoring class following in their footsteps and never seem to pay for drinks in the bar. You both hate them and want to be them. 

 

9.  KINDERLAND QUEEN/KING

A true oddity of the locker room, the Kinderland Queen/King is the one instructor who actually enjoys kids lessons.  They came up with every exercise and warm-up the rest of you miserably play out, and somehow come back from every lesson, skipping with a kid under each arm. You have no idea how they keep that smile plastered on their face all day, but at least you didn’t tell 42-year-old Karen to pizza.

 

We’ve made an Instagram bingo story for you to download and tag your friends!  Check it out here!

The characters in this article are fictitious, no identification with actual persons (living or deceased) should be inferred. This article and associated media is for entertainment purposes only.

 

Writing credit: Ski Instructor Diaries - https://skiinstructordiaries.com/
Illustration Credit : created by macrovector - www.freepik.com

 

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